Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Leaving for Italy

Well, emotionally, I am ready to go to Italy. I am excited about going; I've never been before and so I'm very excited about going. I'm more relaxed now that I know I'm going to be meeting Rose and Rachel on the plane in Cincinnati. That just takes a weight off.

But I'm not packed yet, my passport is being overnighted because they didn't finish it yet, and (as we can tell) I still have a blog entry to finish, other than this one. I am just a procrastinator. And I hate packing. I just would like to BE there and not really do any of the stuff needed to prepare for it that is still on one of my lists. I do like checking things off once I get them done. I know I'll get everything done, and I'm not stressed. I'm not extremely excited either. Maybe once I get more done I'll get really really excited. I'm just a person that has to move through things in steps and see progress before I get happy/relieved. If it doesn't look like I've made progress, then I don't feel like I've made progress, even if I have. But considering all that I have to do, I'm actually not feeling that stressed out. I know what I have to do. I know that I can do it. I think that after I wrote that huge paper last semester packing doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Plus, my mom or my dad will just end up re-doing it anyway. And I am not saying that because I want them to pack for me. I just know this as a fact. People do not like the way that I pack, and my parents are much more anal than I am. And are apparently experts in packing.

My cousin is studying with UD's program in London and it sounds like she's having a really good time. I expect that I will have as much fun as she is! I think my expectations are...well I don't really know. When we went to the Grand Canyon when I was in high school, my brother Nate and I complained the whole time before we'd gone because we said, "What's the point in going? It's just a hole." We'd seen it in movies and didn't think it would be a big deal or anything. We got there and it was amazing, just so huge and epic--it was bigger and greater than anything I could ever have imagined. And I don't think I would have wanted to imagine anything that big, because nothing could have lived up to that. And last summer, my mom and I went to New York City for the first time after a 12-year campaign on my part. I had ALWAYS wanted to go to New York City. But I remember my mom asking me what I expected and I said, "I don't know. I've never been there." And then we got there and THAT was amazing too...the constant pulsing of the city, like you were just connected with every other person there. So I guess the point is that I try not to have preconceived expectations of someplace new. I like to just have it hit me in the face so I experience it full force. And then I have that memory forever. I still have my memories of some of my most life-changing first places (well, the only one I didn't mention was when I saw Disney World for the first time) in my mind. I can still remember all of my emotions.

But I do expect that I will have an amazing time, because I do have an amazing time wherever I go.

1 comment:

andypanda122 said...

Dear Pam,

I love reading your postings! I am always impressed by the style, phrasing,clarity, and depth of your writings. in other words: Good job! By the way...you can call my cell phone from there; Cingular says that I can call you and vice versa for the 99 cents a minute deal. I'll be at graduation tomorrow evening, but I get to come home tomorrow afternoon before lunch. I can't wait to hear your updates...which I'm sure will be more detailed than our phone calls (we'll save those for personal stuff). I sensed that you had some different expectations/notions of your location, etc.,in regard to the "happening" areas of Rome and proximity to the university. I pictured you closer and in the midst of it all (just like in the movies:). Hopefully, once you get around more (and adjust to everything/one), the beauty, charm, and experiences will overwhelm all else. I love you, Pam...talk to you soon.

Love, Mom